


The Teen Avengers

by SophieRomanoff97



Series: The Teens [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Anorexia, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Avengers Family, BAMF Nick Fury, Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bulimia, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Childhood Sweethearts, Clint Barton Feels, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Daddy Phil Coulson - Freeform, Depression, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorders, F/M, Flashbacks, Grant Ward Feels, Jemma Simmons Needs a Hug, Kid Avengers, Kid Fic, Leo Fitz Feels, M/M, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Nick Fury Knows All, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Parent Melinda May, Parent Nick Fury, Parent Phil Coulson, Parent/Child Incest, Past Rape/Non-con, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Avengers, Protective Bruce Banner, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Clint Barton, Protective Melinda May, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Nick Fury, Protective Phil Coulson, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Thor (Marvel), Protective Tony Stark, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovery, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Sexual Violence, Skye | Daisy Johnson Feels, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug, Starvation, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Teen Avengers, Teen Bruce Banner, Teen Bucky Barnes, Teen Clint Barton, Teen Natasha Romanov, Teen Skye, Teen Steve Rogers, Teen Thor, Teen Tony Stark, Teenagers, Therapy, Thor (Marvel) Feels, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Violence, daddy nick fury, mommy melinda may, teen daisy johnson, teen grant ward, teen jemma simmons, teen leo fitz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-02-14 20:01:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13015107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieRomanoff97/pseuds/SophieRomanoff97
Summary: Avengers High School AU with Natasha, Bucky, Tony, Steve, Bruce, Thor, Clint as teenagers. Also featuring Foster parents Phil, Nick Fury and Melinda May. Also featuring teen Skye, Leo, Jemma and Grant.This is the life of our teen Avengers as they deal with abuse, death, self-harm and a whole bunch of other stuff.Some fluff, some angst, some very dark themes so heed warnings.Other than that, enjoy!





	1. The start (1)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, it's ya girl, back starting another fanfic before she's finished others. This one is an Avengers high school au, with a little Agents of Shield characters thrown in.  
> All of the Avengers are around 15/16 and The Shield characters are around 12/13. Phil is 36, Nick is 33.  
> Whilst there are going to be some fun, fluffy bits, there are darker themes and darker parts throughout. Warnings for self-harm, rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, suicidal thoughts and everything that goes with that so please, if any of that triggers you, I want you to take care of yourself and either click off or proceed with caution.  
> Also, I live in England not America so I might get some school stuff and phrases wrong, please bear with me.  
> This plot mainly came from one of many roleplays with my best friend. So, Cassi, this is for you!  
> Alright everyone, let's go!

Natasha, Bucky, Steve, Clint, Thor, Bruce and Tony had been friends since they were in kindergarten. They'd officially started to play one rainy afternoon when they were forced to stay inside.

Clint and Natasha were joined at the hip, as were Tony and Bruce and Steve and Bucky. They'd been sitting after snack and Clint, ever the most outgoing of them had asked if the four boys wanted to play with him and Natasha. They'd agreed and minutes later they were immersed in a game of Superheroes, giving themselves cool names and firing pretend lasers at each other.

The next day, they'd come together again, even when the sun was shining outside. Thor had quickly joined the gang since his brother Loki was nearly always in time out.

Now, twelve years later, they were still just as close. Things had changed of course. Bruce had been taken from his abusive, shit head father and was living with the principal of Shield high, Mr Fury. He was one of two foster parents in their small little town. Their history teacher, Mr Coulson was the other. Coulson had four foster kids with him and his wife, English teacher Mrs Melinda May. Fury only had Bruce at the moment, as he always went for the older kids; Coulson went for the younger ones.

Other things had changed too. Thor's brother was in juvie, and his mother had died. Clint lived with his older brother after an accident. Tony lived with his ever absent parents. Steve and Bucky lived together with Steve's mother. Natasha's mother had died and she was living with her piece of shit father.

No one knew that her father beat her, touched her and gave her to his friends for beer.

Clint and Natasha were still best friends and after a kiss at the yearly school dance, had tentatively started dating. Bruce and Tony were close, but unsure of their relationship and Steve and Bucky were very much in love and walked around holding hands and breaking girl’s hearts. Thor was with a quiet, science geek called Jane, a good friend of Bruce's. 

They were all together pretty much constantly, when possible. Recently though, Natasha had been pulling away and closing herself off.

She missed days off school frequently and was often late for her first class.

She was now, as she ran onto school grounds and burst into History. Her hood was pulled up over her red hair and her ratty old school bag was over her shoulder. 

She apologised profusely to Mr Coulson and could see the teacher’s eyes scan her critically.

"Take your seat, Miss Romanoff, I'll see you after class."

Cursing under her breath, she took to her seat and silently pulled her books out.

"Tash?" Clint hissed from her side, a bemused and slightly worried expression on her face.

"I woke up late." She rolled her eyes.

Clint opened his mouth to argue and the redhead rolled her eyes and cut him off. "Shut it, Barton, I'm in enough trouble with getting busted for talking." She growled and Clint, expression darkening, pulled back and turned to his pages. 

He had noticed the thicker than usual Russian accent, something that happened when his best friend was exhausted or Ill.

She'd been born in Russia and had moved to America when she was four. She'd been a shy, quiet girl who didn't speak much. Clint had been the first one to get her to chat, offering her his favourite crayon during playtime. She'd taken it carefully, offering a bright smile and they'd been joined at the hip ever since.

Clint didn't push it now but his attention was definitely not on his work during the lesson. Something was wrong with her, that much was certain. 

She'd been off recently, barely talking to them and not letting anyone touch her unless she was really distressed.

They all had issues, but Natasha often had panic attacks and was a frequent flyer at the nurse’s station. 

Clint watched as she minutely stiffened at the end of class bell.

As he was leaving, he turned to look at Natasha to her find her whispering furiously with Mr Coulson, her hands making exaggerated gestures. Burying the worry, he texted his friends to meet him at lunch and headed to his next class.

When lunch came around, Clint was the first to their spot on the grass. He often brought two lunches with him because Natasha never seemed to have lunch or money to buy it. She wouldn't ask for food but if given to her, she would eat it. 

When all seven of them were there, they set out their food and fell into that easy conversation they had. Thor had insisted Jane sit with her girlfriends, Darcy and Pepper because Natasha wasn't really close with Jane, and he knew she needed her good friends.

"So, Nat, tardy again?" Bucky grinned from beside Steve. "Naughty naughty."

"Ugh, don't." Natasha drawled. "I expected an earful from Coulson and I got him asking if I was alright and whatever. I'd prefer anger." She snorted.

"I was late, it's not like I killed someone." She shrugged, biting into her sandwich with gusto. She stopped talking then because she was basically inhaling her lunch, like she hadn't eaten for a while. Her eyes darted around and her body was coiled and protective over her sandwich, like someone would yank it away.

Used to it, the others didn't watch her and talked among themselves. 

They arranged a sleepover at Tony's, his house almost a mansion because his family were loaded. And his parents were always gone.

When Natasha had finished eating, she joined in the conversation, her hood still pulled up over her head.

"Are you alright, Tash? No bullshit with us." Bruce said quietly. He understood her better than anyone, and his gut was always flaring when he caught a sight of her with a bruise or cut on her. He knew the signs and had actually brought it up secretly with Coulson. He knew that was why the man had talked to her after class. He felt guilty but like he had done the right thing. He wouldn't let her go through what he had.  
"Yeah." The redhead shrugged, tugging almost anxiously on her hood.

"What's with that?" Steve chirped up from where he was sharing a cup of fruit.

"With what?" She feigned ignorance. 

"The hood, Tasha, c'mon." He sighed.

"My hair is wet." She mumbled, shrugging. 

"From this morning?" Thor raised an eyebrow. 

"Yes." She snapped, eyes flaring. 

From beside her Clint rolled his eyes and reached out, tugging the hood down from her face.

At first, no one saw anything wrong with her hair or anything and Natasha had yanked her hood up, stood up and stalked off seconds later.

"Uh, guys." Bucky murmured. "Did you see that?" 

A few of them had.

"The side of her face-" Clint croaked, looking frantically between the rest of his friends.

"We're they-"

"Bruises?" Bruce asked, swallowing hard. "Yes, they were."

"Do you think her dad did that?" Steve asked, baffled and Bucky nodded, his eyes dark and dangerous. 

"Well I certainly don't think she did that herself." Tony growled.

"We have to go to someone." Clint murmured. "Coulson or Hill or even Fury. We need to get her out of there-"

Bruce nodded slowly, his gaze pained. "I brought it up a little with Coulson, just my fears but now...now her face is like that, we have proof." He grit his teeth and got to his feet. "Come on, we're going to Principal Fury. Now."

The six of them all agreed, clambering to her feet.

The last thing Fury expected that lunch time was the little ragtag group of students sliding into his room.

“What can I do for you?” He asked, silently rubbing one of the scars circling his left eye. He had an eyepatch pulled over it but some lines were still visible. 

The patch made him look even scarier, especially to younger students and the rumours about how he’d gotten hurt like that were numerous.

“We’re here about Natasha, Sir, Natasha Romanoff.” Steve said quietly, stepping forward as the kind of leader of the group of teens.

“What about her?” He asked, quirking his eyebrow, glancing to his foster child.

“We think…we’re almost certain that her dad is beating is her.” Bruce ground out, the pain evident in his eyes and his voice.

“What makes you think that?” Fury asked, frowning.

“Her face.” Clint said bluntly. “It’s all bruised up, and we’ve all at some point or another seen other marks on her.”

Natasha sometimes had a penchant for getting into fights, as did Bruce, but these marks seemed more brutal than a simple punch from an asshole.

“Have you asked her about this? Perhaps, Miss Romanoff got into a fight.” 

“No, she hasn’t for ages, and if she had, her knuckles would be all tore up.” Bucky shook his head. “She always fights back. Her hands are clean.”

“And there’s other things. Not…necessarily beating things but…” Clint struggled to find the right words to say.

“Like…neglect things.” Bruce said quietly and Fury’s eyes softened at his foster son.

“Like what, Bruce?” He asked softly.

“Well…you know I know about this stuff.” Bruce stammered, his cheeks red as he wrung his hands.

“Her clothes are dirty, or they’re wet.” He said quietly. “She never has anything to eat or drink, we always bring extra food and water.” He shrugged and it clicked with Fury where his snacks had been going. For a long time Bruce had taken any extra food and hidden it under his bed, for fear of not being given any more soon.

“She’s always exhausted.” Clint said softly. “Always late. She misses days, as you well know, with no actual reason.”

“And, I’ve seen Natasha flinch more than once at any loud noise, or any touch.” Thor chirped up.

The others nodded their agreement. 

Fury carefully looked over the group of friends. “I’ll call CPS.” He said quietly. “I’ll send them to her house.”

The group visibly sighed with relief as he believed them.

“Thank you.” Bucky breathed, his hand firmly in Steve’s.

“Where is Miss Romanoff now?” Fury asked quietly and they all looked among themselves, Clint sheepish.

“I pulled her hood down, just joking around but…then she ran off.” He sighed, looking forlorn. 

“Alright, go and enjoy the last of your lunch and I’ll send the teachers around to look for her.” Fury said, kindly.

The boy nodded their thanks and slowly left the room.

Fifth period rolled around, the one class they all shared together, but their redhead was nowhere to be seen. Panic rolled through each of them as they anxiously counted down the minutes, Clint’s phone open in front of him with her messages open. She hadn’t responded to any of them, and a sick feeling settled in his stomach. 

Something was very wrong.

After class, the six boys walked the short distance to Fury’s office. They knocked and waited for an answer, when none came they pushed the door open to find it empty.

Bruce frowned and looked down at his phone. He had a single message from Fury, telling him to go to one of the boys homes after school.

“He must be at Natasha’s, we should skip and go there.” Bucky said quietly.

In minutes, they were all bundled onto the bus to go to her house.

Once there, they found the entire place surrounded with police cars and police officers. They pushed their way through the crowd, trying to spot either their principal or their friend.

They found Fury first and they called to the man, pulling his attention from the police woman he was speaking to.

“I told you to go to one of the boys.” He said, tone clipped as his eyes darted around to each of them.

“We had to see her.” Clint shook his head. “Where is she, is she okay? They’re locking her dad up right?”

Fury sighed and gently ushered them all off to the side.

“Sir, who are all these other men?” Bucky asked, a frown on his face.

Fury’s own face was grave as he looked down at them.

“We found…Natasha in a…compromising position with a few of the men. They’re friends of her father. They were…”

Clint blanched and he faintly heard Bruce turning around and slamming his hand into the wall. 

“They were raping her?” Steve asked, his voice incredulous. 

“Yes.” Fury said quietly. 

“Oh my god.” Tony whispered, hand covering his mouth.

Bucky inched towards Steve and Bruce wound his arm around Tony’s waist.

“What now?” Clint whispered, anguish in his voice and tears on his cheeks.

“She gets checked out at the hospital. She talks to the police and then…if it’s alright with you, Bruce, she comes home with us.”

 

TBC  
(Next chapter is Fury’s pov of finding Natasha)


	2. Nick's POV (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick's point of view of finding Natasha and what has happened to her.
> 
> Graphic sexual abuse and rape, so be careful, you have been warned.
> 
> Lots of love,  
> Sophie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. This chapter involves graphic sexual abuse, rape and physical abuse against a minor. As awful as it sounds, I have experience in this so don't tell me I don’t know what I'm writing. Please tread carefully.  
> This is kinda a filler chapter until I decide what I want to do, or if I want to move forward, cause I’m kinda sure no one is reading. But oh well.

When Nick had been informed that Natasha had left the premises, he called the police immediately. 

The feeling in the pit of his stomach told him that something was wrong and it was always right.

He called Coulson into his office, explaining his fears and leaving him in charge of the school. 

The police man met him at the gates and they headed to Natasha's house together.

Letting Fury go was a little unorthodox but he was a foster parent and knew Natasha.

They knocked on the door, not expecting an answer but Natasha's father answered and silently let them in.

"She's in the basement. Do what you want with her, pay me when you're done." He jerked his thumb in the direction of the stairs. 

The police man nodded and the men moved to the basement.

What they found made Fury’s stomach clench so violently he thought he might be sick.

His student was laying on her back on the floor, her underwear thrown to the side and her shirt ripped open.

Her face was slack, eyes blank as she stared at the corner of the ceiling.

One guy was pushing inside her, the other had a hand pulling her hair whilst he jerked himself off.

He realised with a start that Natasha wasn't fighting, that was taking it like she was used to it.

He moved forward and the police man pulled out his gun, levelling it at them. 

"Get off the girl, put your dick back in your pants and don't try anything." He growled, watching as the man yanked back and tidied themselves.

Natasha was still frozen in place and seemed to be whispering under her breath. 

Fury pulled his coat off and rushed towards her, wrapping the girl up in the material.

"Natasha?" He asked, surprisingly gentle. 

He was able to hear what she was whispering now. 

"Just do what he says and you might get food. You won't end up like mama. Just do what he says. It's nearly over. Mama is proud. so proud of you. Just do what he says. Take it like a good little girl." 

Fury growled low in his throat and the sound startled Natasha, who seemed to be pulled from her thoughts.

He'd seen it before. A kid going into their mind to block out was happening. To try and be anywhere else. 

"Natasha." He breathed. "It's Principal Fury. You're safe now. I'm gonna take care of you."

"Sir?" She winced, rubbing a hand over her face and struggling to sit up. 

"You're getting out of here. He is never going to touch you again. Can you stand?"

Natasha nodded minutely, shuffling to her hands and knees before clambering to her feet. 

To her credit, she stayed standing for a good few seconds before her legs gave out and she went crashing to the floor.

Fury just managed to avoid her head cracking against the floor, wincing as his hand came away sticky with blood.

Now he noticed it, she was bleeding quite heavily from somewhere in her hair and her body was littered with cuts and bruises. 

He cursed and lifted her easily, way too easily, into his arms. 

She was stiff in his arms, shuddering softly in a way Fury knew wasn't good. 

"I've got you, sweetheart." He said reassuringly, holding her to his chest as he got to his feet and walked up the stairs.

By the time he got there, the place was surrounded with police and ambulance crew, the two men and her father in handcuffs and being led to separate cars. 

He headed for the ambulance, stepping into the back and placing her down.

"I'll be right back, honey." He murmured as she clung to his neck, refusing to let go. 

"I'll be right back. They won't leave without me." He glared at the paramedics who nodded in response.

Fury exited the ambulance and headed to speak to the police man who had been with him. 

That was when six boys grabbed his attention. He sighed and steeled himself, moving over to talk to them.

This would not be fun to explain.


	3. Fury's house (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we see Natasha at the hospital and coming home with Fury and Bruce.  
> Heed the warnings, take care of yourself and enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey everyone! 
> 
> Some warnings for this chapter: mentions of sexual abuse and rape, physical violence, self-harm and suicidal thoughts. Believe it or not, I know about all of these so it's coming from experience. Take heed of the warnings, click off if triggered. If not, I'd love some encouraging comments and enjoy (?)

Natasha sat tucked under a blanket on a bed at the hospital. 

The hard stuff was over, a female police officer had told her. Her name was Bobbi Morse, and at any other time Natasha would've been stricken by how beautiful she was.

She had met Natasha and Fury at the hospital and had been by her side ever since.

Natasha had gone through many invasive tests, had had swabs taken and bloods done to check whether she was pregnant or not, or had any sexually transmitted disease. They'd come back clear. A small victory. 

She'd had stitches in the back of her head, cuts and burns bandaged and a couple of her fingers wrapped up. 

They were by no means the worst injuries she'd ever had. Her father enjoyed beating her and the men who paid for her body were never gentle.

She'd given evidence, working on autopilot. They'd asked questions and she'd answered, she'd had to go into excruciating detail and had broken down crying twice.

It had taken her hours to get through it all. 

She'd been looked over again and had been told she could leave. 

Obviously she couldn't go home, so Fury had told her she would be going home with him and Bruce.

She hadn't seen her friends since school earlier and was in no rush. 

She couldn't face them now, now that they knew about it. Knew she was her father's sex toy and the men's plaything. She didn't think she couldn't ever look them in the eyes again.

Just then, Fury knocked and poked his head around the door.

Natasha hadn't wanted him in the room when she spoke to the police, so he had taken a quick trip to the mall. She wasn't allowed any of her own belongings, not that she had many, so he had gotten her some stuff.

"Hey, Natasha, PC Morse. Can I take her home now?" Fury asked quietly. 

"Sure." Bobbi nodded, helping Natasha clamber off the bed. 

"I'll be coming tomorrow to check up on you, Natasha. And you'll need to see a doctor in a few days to get the stitches out and check on your fingers. Alright?" Bobbi asked.

Natasha nodded stiffly, eyes on the floor.

On their way out, they stopped to pick up a prescription. Natasha had been given the morning after pill, some anxiety meds and sleeping tablets for a week.

Natasha wasn't sure she wanted to take the latter but she'd figure that out later.

...

Half an hour later, Fury was unlocking the door. 

"Bruce?" He called out, expecting the boy even though he'd been told to stay at Tony's. 

"Hey." Bruce said softly, poking his round the doorframe. "I wanted to be here when you got back. It's just me."

Fury sighed but nodded, understanding. 

"I'll show you where you're staying, you can take some time to settle in and then we'll order some food." He said gently. 

The redhead hadn't spoken the whole way back and she just nodded.

When he'd shown her to her room, Fury left her with the bags from the mall and went to talk to Bruce.

They had a very in depth chat, spoken in soft voices. 

Fury had told him the bare minimum he needed and it was understood that Bruce wouldn't push it.

...

Back in the room Fury'd shown her too, Natasha emptied the bags. 

She found new clothes, pyjamas, underwear, shower stuff and a school bag.

She figured a shower wouldn't hurt so she took the shampoo and shower gel into the adjacent bathroom. 

The warm water felt amazing on her bruised skin and she sank down onto the floor. 

She'd searched the cupboards and had come up with a straight shaving razor.

Feeling only a little guilty for using Fury's razor in his house, she took the blade to her skin. 

Soon the water was running red and she was suitably dizzy.  
She briefly considered taking the blade and cutting deeper, the image of bleeding out under the running water inexplicably intoxicating.

However, she shook her head and stood, tucking the blade into a pair of new socks and shoved it in a cupboard.

She got dressed into some pyjamas, since was planning on going to bed as soon as was allowed. 

She picked out the long sleeve red top, knowing it would cover her arms if she bled through. She picked the matching pants and threw on her hoodie over the top.

She headed out to the living room, leaving her hair to air dry.

"Natasha." Fury smiled, "we were deciding on what to eat for dinner. Any preference?"

Natasha shook her head, looking down at the carpet.

Bruce bit his lip, "She likes pizza." He said softly.

Natasha smiled weakly at him, cautiously walking over to him. 

He said nothing else, just wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. 

She hugged him back, squeezing her eyes shut and tucking her face against his shoulder. 

When she pulled back, his shirt was wet but he didn't comment on it.

He moved to the sofa, patting the place beside him. 

She shuffled over and silently sat down, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Fury appraised her quietly, handing over the tv remote.

"Feel free to find something to watch. Bruce, the usual?" He asked, getting a soft nod in response. 

"Yeah, thanks Nick." He murmured.

"What do you like, Natasha?" He asked gently.

"J...just plain." She whispered, twisting her sleeve material around her fingers. 

"Thank you, Sir." 

"No need to call me that, Natasha, Nick is fine."

"Okay." She mumbled. "Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for." He shook his head. 

It was a habit she wouldn't be breaking any time soon.

...

When they'd finished eating, Natasha silently looked down at her empty plate.

She was so used to taking what food she could, eating it as fast as possible and not stopping until it was gone. She never knew when her next meal was coming.

Bruce knew that too, it had taken him forever to break that habit and Fury had been incredibly kind and patient throughout. 

"Would it...be okay if I went to lay down?" Natasha asked, voice soft and nervous. 

"Of course, Natasha." Fury glanced over at the clock. "It's about nine anyways."

Bruce stood to clear the plates away and Fury gently moved closer to the girl. 

"Do you think you can get some sleep or do you want to try a pill tonight? Whatever you choose is fine, don't worry about school tomorrow, you can spend the day here."

Natasha bit her lip, cheeks flushing. 

"I don't think I can sleep." She said quietly, afraid to admit it.

"Alright, how about we try the pill for tonight and then we can re-evaluate tomorrow?"

She nodded slowly, silently getting to her feet. 

"I'll bring it to your room, feel free to go get into bed."

Fury watched her go, her feet dragging and her eyes darting around the hallway. 

He sighed softly, realising they'd have to have a talk sooner rather than later. About where to go next, what to do, about therapy and meds. For tonight though, he would let her sleep.

A couple minutes later, he knocked on her door and pushed it open. 

"I'd like you to keep the door open, alright? It sounds a bit silly, but it's better for me to know if something is wrong."

Natasha nodded, pulling the covers to her chin and she sat against the headboard, not laying down. 

He passed her a glass of water and two pills. One the sleeping pill and one the morning after pill. 

He watched her silently as she took them, nodding as he was satisfied she hadn't hidden them. 

Getting meds into Bruce had been a challenge and a half.

"Lay down, sweetheart, you'll feel better after some sleep."

She slowly stretched her legs out and slid down in the bed. 

Fury smiled gently at her. "I'll be in my room if you need anything, feel free to yell for me." He said kindly, silently pulling the covers over her shoulders. 

"Sleep well, Natasha, good night."

He just heard her voice as he exited the room. 

"Good night, Nick."


	4. The next day (4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I have no real plan for this chapter it's just gonna be coming out as it comes out. Heed the warnings for abuse, rape, self harm, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks etc. Take care.

Natasha woke up late the next morning, groggy and confused.

She'd never had sleeping meds before and they'd knocked her out almost straight away.

Pushing herself up in the bed, it took her a couple of minutes for her to remember everything.

She inhaled raggedly, the covers feeling too trapping as she struggled to get out of bed.

Her bare feet hit the floor and she crashed into multiple things before she made it to the bathroom, slamming the door and sinking down beside the sink.

Her breaths came harsh and fast as she clamped her hands over her ears.

Can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe.

There was a loud rap on the door and Natasha cowered, rocking herself on her heels. 

"Please, please don't. Stop, stop-" She gasped, trying to ignore the increasingly loud knocks.

"Natasha? Are you okay? If you don't answer, I'm coming in." The voice sounded and Natasha just pushed herself back against the wall.

A couple of seconds later, the door was pushed open and Nick was kneeling in front of her.

"Natasha, look at me, can you look at me?" He asked gently, not touching her but getting low enough that she could see him.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Natasha, just look at me, I need you to breathe." He inhaled slowly through his nose.

"Can you try and follow my breathing? In through your nose, nice and slow." He said softly. "You're okay, no one is going to hurt you." 

"I...can't-" She whispered, shuddering, nails digging into her temples.

"Natasha, you can, I promise you can. It's just a panic attack, you're okay. Breathe for me." He coaxed, doing his own slow breathing for her to follow. 

A couple of minutes later and she'd mainly gotten ahold of her breathing.

"Sweetheart, hey, how about we get off the floor?" Nick asked gently, getting to his feet.

Natasha silently nodded, clambering up on shaky legs.

"Let's get some tea in the living room." He suggested, waiting for her to follow before leaving the room.

When they were sat on the couch with a warm drink in hand, Nick spoke.

"What happened back there, Natasha?" 

"I just..." her voice was quiet and wary. She wasn't used to talking about how she felt. "I woke up and...I didn't know where I was. Then...then I remembered everything and freaked out." She shrugged, staring at her cup of tea.

"Panic attacks are okay, Natasha. I know how terrifying they are at the time." He didn't try to tell her it was pointless or stupid like she expected him to, he just accepted her feelings.

"How do you feel now?" He asked quietly. 

"I...I'm okay." She mumbled.

"Really? Because you don't have to be."

"I just...I'm shaky and my chest hurts. I don't know if I'm going to freak out again."

Nick nodded, sipping his tea.

"We were given some meds called Diazepam by the doctor, they're supposed to help lower your heart rate and the physical symptoms. We can try one if you want. They're not a long term solution, just whilst you adjust."

"I...I think I'd like to try." She admitted softly.

Nick nodded and stood up, fetching her a glass of water and half of one of the tablets, passing them over to her.

"What time is it?" She asked, taking the pill and grimacing.

"A little after twelve, I took the day off for the both of us and Bruce, so don't worry about school." He said quietly. 

"I didn't need to miss classes." She mumbled, flushing with embarrassment.

"Just for a day or two, you need some time to relax and adjust to being here."

Natasha sighed deeply and shrugged. 

"I'll give you some time to relax but we really need to talk later, okay?"

Natasha just silently nodded as Fury stood. "I'll be in my office, feel free to come get me if you need to. You're safe here, Natasha, I promise."


	5. The police visit (5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Tw's as usual for this fic with the addition of death. This chapter is based around something that actually happened to me recently. Take care of yourselves and click off if needs be, love you all and please leave a comment.

Natasha was sitting watching tv with Bruce when the doorbell rang.

Fury came out his office and opened the door, talking quietly to someone for a minute.

He came into the living room with PC Morse, and Natasha remembered vaguely that she'd said she would be stopping by.

"Bruce, can you go to your room for a bit please." Fury’s face looked grave, and the sight of his expression set Natasha on edge.

Bruce frowned and nodded, turning the tv off and squeezing her hand. "Come get me after." He said softly.

She only nodded numbly as the police officer stepped towards her. 

"PC Morse." She said quietly.

"Please, call me Bobbi." The blonde said gently, sitting down on a chair across from her. 

"I'll go make some drinks." Fury murmured, pointing a careful glance at the woman.

“None for me, thank you.” Bobbi nodded as he left.

"Natasha, there's been..." the blonde swallowed, "something has happened." She said carefully.

"What? What is it? Did he get out of jail? Is he coming?" Natasha asked, already internally freaking out.

"Natasha, your father...he was found dead this morning."

Natasha felt like her world had stopped. She stopped breathing, her eyes burning as she tried to comprehend what she was hearing. 

"What?" Is all she could say, hot tears burning tracks down her cheeks. 

"Your father was in a cell overnight." The blonde said quietly. "When they checked on him, he was unresponsive. He...was pronounced dead at the hospital."

Natasha didn't realise she was shaking, her chest agony. 

"I don't...understand." She whispered, shaking her head and swiping at her face. "He...was fine yesterday." 

"A cause is still being determined, so I'm afraid I can't tell you what happened. I came here as soon as I could." The blondes’ voice was calm and soothing but it all went over Natasha's head.

"He's...dead?" She was talking on autopilot, her brain shouting at her. 

So many different thoughts and emotions encompassed her. 

Anger, remorse, sorrow, guilt, relief.

Everything flooded her system and all she could do was bury her head in her hands and sob brokenly.

She heard footsteps and Nick coming closer.

"Natasha, I know this hard." He said quietly. "This isn't what you expected, what you needed and I'm sorry." 

Natasha shakily lifted her head, hiccupping little sobs escaping her throat.

"You're okay." He said softly. "You're going to be okay." 

Natasha struggled to catch her breath, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Natasha." Bobbi said, sincerely sounding like she meant it. "I'll be in touch whenever I get any information. And we still have the two men we found you with in custody, it's not over because he's gone, Natasha." The blonde stood, handing her a card. 

"Call me if there's anything you want to ask. I've spoken to some colleagues in another department, they'll be in touch. They can help with finding therapists and groups." She nodded at Fury. 

"Keep safe, Natasha." She said softly, Fury walking her to the door.

When he came back, Natasha was gone.

It didn't take long to find her; she was in Bruce's room, the boys arms around her as she sobbed into his chest.

"He's dead." She whimpered, fingers curled into his shirt. "He's dead and I'm broken. I don't know what to do...or feel." 

Bruce looked stricken as he met Fury's eyes at the door. 

Nick pushed the door open with enough noise to alert Natasha to his presence but not startle her. 

"I can't imagine how difficult this is for you." He said quietly, kneeling at the foot of the bed. "But Natasha, anything you feel, anything you think is completely valid. This is...a difficult situation, and anything you feel is okay."

Natasha shuddered, not lifting her head, murmuring against Bruce's shoulder. 

"It's not okay for me to feel relieved but sad, for me to hate him but to love him too."

"That is more than understandable and okay." Nick said firmly. "It's okay to be confused and to be filled with warring emotions."

"I'm so confused." The girl whispered as Bruce tightened his arm around her. 

"I know." Nick murmured gently. "And I can't try to make it better, but I can tell you you're going to be okay." He pushed himself up. 

"I'll give you two a little time, but then I want you to both come to the living room, okay?"

They both nodded and Fury stepped out.

"Tasha, I'm so sorry." Bruce sighed, rubbing her shoulder. 

"Thanks." She said listlessly, leaning against him. She was tired from crying and just wanted to escape for a while. 

"How about we nap a little bit?" He gently released her so he could move up the bed and lift the covers. 

"You know how we all used to pile on the floor at sleepovers and sleep all together?"

"Yeah. I loved those times." Natasha sighed, rubbing her eyes. 

"I'm gonna lay down in the bed, and if you're comfortable and okay with it, you can lay down too."

He pulled back the covers and lay down.

Natasha quickly left the room, coming back with a comfy hoodie on and a bear in her arms. 

Natasha wasn't allowed her belongings, not that she had many, but she'd kept a bear from her mother in her locker at school. She usually took it home and hid it under her bedroom floorboards where, after her father had left her room for the night, she would take it out and sleep with it. 

It had been in her locker and Bruce had brought it home with him.

She crawled into bed beside Bruce, pulling the covers over then both and cuddling up to his side.

"Thanks, Bruce." She whispered, taking a little comfort in her friend.

"Always, Tasha." He murmured, kissing her temple. 

She slid her fingers into his and they both fell asleep like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also in case it's not clear, Bruce and Natasha are just friends, really good friends, and friends can cuddle and hold hands without it being a relationship thing. She is with Clint. Okay


	6. Hanging out (9)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! It's been a while since I updated this fic so here we go. Tw's as usual. Please be careful.

Bruce woke up before Natasha, rubbing his eyes and squinting to see without his glasses.

Looking at the clock told him they'd been asleep for almost an hour.

He carefully got out from under Natasha, picking up his phone and slipping out to the living room.

After a quiet conversation with Fury, it was decided that if Natasha was up to it, it would be nice for the rest of their friends to come to dinner and hang out for a bit.

Fury knew Natasha wouldn't sleep well that night if she slept more now so he went to wake her from her nap whilst Bruce messaged their friends.

With their plans confirmed, Bruce headed to the kitchen to make the three of them some drinks.

With two teas and a hot chocolate made, Bruce met the others in the living room.

Natasha looked drained, even after their nap, and her face was pale and bruised.

"Hey, Nat, how're you feeling?" he handed her the hot chocolate and sat beside her.

"Tired." the redhead murmured, shrugging. "Kinda out of it."

"That's not surprising." Fury said softly. "Between the meds and the news, you'll feel it for a while. But it will get better." he smiled at her. "I'll be here for whatever you need."

After he'd left, Natasha settled against Bruce, sipping her drink.

"So, Nat, the others and I were thinking we could all have dinner together here tonight. Only if you feel up to it."

Natasha sighed and shrugged. "I guess it'll be nice to see them. If they're okay with me not talking so much."

"Of course they will be, Tash. They love you." he squeezed her shoulder.

"TV?" 

"Sure, Brucie." 

After three episodes of Once Upon a Time, it was time to get ready for the others.

Natasha opted to stay in her pyjamas. If her friends were bothered about it then they weren't really her friends.

Bruce set up the living room, because Fury was going to Coulson's to catch up on work for the day.

He carefully set out blankets and pillows, putting snacks out on the tables and pulling up Netflix for something to watch.

"Alright, I'm heading to Coulson's. There's money on the counter for food, get whatever you want and I'll be back at eight. Call me if you need me." Nick told the two of them before heading out.

Ten minutes later the rest of the group knocked at the door.

The boys filtered in, all stopping to give hugs and whisper to Natasha.

Clint was last and he wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her tightly. "We missed you today."

"Sorry. I didn't know Fury would take me out for the day." she sighed.

"No, Nat, that's fine. You needed a day at the least." he pressed a kiss to forehead.

"Did Bruce tell you what happened?"

"No?" Clint frowned. 

"Later." she sighed, sliding her hand into his.

They headed to the living room and the seven of them spread out over the sofas and floor.

After a little deliberation, Bruce ordered Chinese food and they all settled themselves in for the night.

Half way through the film, Natasha fell asleep cuddled in between Clint and Bucky, her head in the formers lap and her feet in the latter's. 

"Do you think she'll be alright?" Tony asked quietly, his arm casually slung around Bruce's waist.

"I think in time." Steve looked around at them.

Bruce wanted to tell them what had happened but knew it wasn't his place.

"It might take a while but we're all here for her." He said softly, eyes on her sleeping form.

"Always." Bucky nodded and they all chimed in with their agreement. 

It could take years and years but they would always be there for Natasha.

Family wasn't always blood. Sometimes it was the friends found in life. The ones that cared deeply and would always have each other’s backs.

No matter what.


	7. Lil update

Hey everyone! Not a real update but a little message. I'm starting a partner fic for the Shield characters since it didn't feel right to jam the chapters in here with the Avengers stories. It is called 'The Teen Shield Agents' Please go give it a read since all the characters will all interact at some point. Thank you all for reading ❤


	8. Nick isn't an idiot (10)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Sorry it's been a hot minute. Things are going on that I won't go into. Just thank you for sticking with me. Tw's apply especially in this chapter, self harm in particular. Enjoy.

The next couple of days passed with little incident. 

Natasha had gone to school for a couple of periods at a time. 

The rest of the time, she did catch up work at Fury's home, binge watched a LOT of tv, and tried to hang out with her friends as much as possible.

Silence was not an option. Silence led to thinking and thinking led to darker than dark thoughts.

As far as Fury was concerned, things were going as well as could be expected. 

He didn't know that Natasha was self harming every day, sometimes more than once.

Well, Natasha thought he didn't.

She felt guilty every time but couldn't seem to stop.

It was a release. A punishment. A distraction.

Guilt kept piling up.

She was giving in to her father by doing it, giving him the pain he wanted her to have.

But she still couldn't stop.

She took the sleeping pills every night. They were close to running out and she knew she might be able to wrangle another week or two, but no more beyond that.

She didn't even want to think about she would sleep, or rather wouldn't sleep, once she had no more.

Even with the pill, she tossed and turned, woke up screaming and sweating and crying.

The days weren't much better.

She'd plowed through her workload in less than a day.

Had gone through almost an entire colouring book.

Had done more puzzles in a week than anyone did in their lives.

She'd gone through at least four shows all the way through.

Anything to stop the thoughts. Anything.

She didn't enjoy eating. It was just another thing she did to pass the time.

With all this food at her disposal, she was still hoarding snacks under her bed.

Her and Clint were supposed to be studying, but she couldn't face him.

She was bone tired, and looked it.

She couldn't do it.

She cancelled and instead holed up in bed, eyes on the tv but her mind wandering.

She heard Fury come back and reluctantly dragged herself out of bed.

She'd been taking the anxiety meds and they zonked her out a lot.

It was nice.

"Natasha? Bruce and I picked up some food."

The redhead dragged herself into the living room, uncaring that she hadn't showered or changed out of her pyjamas for days.

She'd had a couple classes on Friday and had spent the weekend in her room. 

She'd said she felt too bad to go to school Monday and had been alone in the house until Fury and Bruce had come home.

"Yeah. Cool. Thanks." She mumbled, grabbing a plate and taking a few slices of pizza.

She made a move to go to her bedroom but Fury gently stopped her.

"How about we eat at the table?" He said softly.

Natasha sighed, rubbing her eyes and sitting down at the table.

"How are you feeling?" Bruce sat beside her.

"Fine." She shrugged, picking some stuff off the pizza and more pushing it around her plate.

Fury felt a little apprehensive. After his talk with Phil, he'd realised just how little Natasha ate. 

Phil and Melinda had said it started with Skye just not having access to food but had grown into something more.

Fury very much hoped that wasn't happening with Natasha.

"Just eat whatever you can, Natasha. There's some ice cream if you'd prefer that."

The girl shrugged again, taking a bite of her pizza.

Fury changed the course of the conversation, talking about the work and projects both kids had.

Natasha just wanted dinner to be over so she could go back to bed.

Fury subtly eyed her arms as they rested on the table.

He wasn't an idiot. He knew the signs.

After dinner had been eaten, Fury quietly asked Bruce to give them a minute.

The boy retreated and Fury stood.

"Help me do the dishes? Then we can grab some ice cream and watch some tv."

Natasha put the dishes in the sink. "I'll dry." She mumbled.

"Okay."

They both got to work with their tasks and Nick cleared his throat.

"Is there a reason you didn't want to wash up?" He asked quietly.

"Nope. Just don't feel like it."

"You can talk to me, Natasha. I...look, I know what's going on. I'm not mad. I'm not disappointed. I'm just worried."

"You shouldn't be. It's fine. I'm fine."

"You're not. And that's okay. I'm not telling you to just stop...Just please come to me when you feel that urge to hurt yourself. Maybe I can help, maybe I can't. Let me try."

Natasha swallowed, eyes wet, hands shaking as she dried the plates.

"Okay." She croaked, clearing her throat. "I'm...I'm not promising. I will try to come to you first."

"That's all I can ask, Natasha. Trying. Now, how about you call Bruce back and we choose some ice cream?"

Natasha smiled weakly and nodded, ducking her head.

He was hoping a night of all three of them watching tv, would show the girl she didn't have to hide in her room all the time.

There was no judgment, they didn't have to speak at all if it wasn't wanted.

Just having some company would be good.

He hoped brighter things were coming, but he wasn't holding out for that.

He would take whatever came gracefully and gratefully.

That was just being a parent.

The ups and downs, good and bad days.

Nick had signed up for them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was all over the place, and part of that was me, but part of it was wanting to show how her thoughts flitted from one thing to another, and how she couldn't really focus much on one thing. This will come in later with a diagnosis that I've been building to a little. Anyway, hope that explains it.


	9. I messed up (11)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I'm back with a other chapter. My best friend stayed with me for a month after over 3 and a half years apart so that was my priority but I'm here now. I'm struggling with chronic illness and in bed but I can at least write. Brain fog is real though so it might be short and I'm trying my best to make sure it makes sense. Lots of love and thanks for sticking with me. 
> 
> Tw's as usual but even more so in this chapter. Self harm, blood, unintentional (kinda) near death experience. Be careful loves.

The next couple of weeks dragged.

Natasha got settled into her new home, was back at school three days a week and spent most of her free time at home or at Tony's with the others.

It felt like she was just trudging through life, not actually living.

She woke up, took a shower, either went to school or did the work at home, ate three meals, watched tv, kept herself busy.

But her thoughts continued to darken.

She'd gone to Fury a couple times when the urge to cut came.

He'd been pretty helpful. 

He'd gotten her onto the waiting list for therapy, had found a support group not too far away that she would be starting the next week.

He brought her new colouring and puzzle books, an array of fidget toys and headphones.

He'd been beyond nice to her and that was why Natasha felt so guilty.

Fury was at school, so was Bruce. She held the phone in her hand, wanting to call him.

He would come. She knew he would.

But she still didn't call that number.

She put the phone down and picked up the blade.

The meds made her fuzzy and so she went deeper, did more, to feel it more. 

Just to feel outside pain instead of inside.

Natasha wasn't aware she'd gone too far until it was too late.

She never bled this much.

Blood spurted from her arm and the redhead stumbled off the bed, clamping her hand down onto her wrist.

"Shit!" She cursed, grabbing a towel and pressing down, struggling to stay calm.

It'll stop. It's okay. You didn't go too far. You'll be fine.

Panic built and she reached for the phone, fingers wet with blood as she dialed the number.

"Natasha, everything okay?" Fury asked.

"Nick-" The girl choked out, voice shaking. "I need you to come home. I...I messed up-"

"I'm coming. Are you hurt?" The sound of keys clattered over the line.

"Y...yes. I'm sorry-"

"Stay on the line, I'm calling an ambulance. Press down on where it's bleeding most. Don't take your hand away. Sit down, put your feet up above your heart. Can you do that?"

"Yes." Natasha whispered, sliding down to the carpet, lifting her feet up onto the bottom of the bed.

"Natasha?"

"I'm...I'm down. It...It's not stopping. Shit, I'm sorry-"

"Breathe, sweetheart, keep pressing down. Keep talking to me."

The dizziness hit Natasha like a truck and her vision blurred as she watching the towel turn red with her blood.

"Natasha? Talk to me, sweetheart."

"I...I'm here." She whispered, swallowing as she leaned her head on the carpet.

"That's it. Breathe, stay calm. I'm not far away."

"Nick, I'm scared." Natasha shivered, gritting her teeth as black crept up on her vision.

"I know. I know, I'm nearly there. Talk to me."

Her tongue felt heavy as she tried to summon the energy to reply.

"Natasha?" She could hear the worry in his voice. Knew she'd messed up big time.

"Sorry." She mumbled, eyelids slipping closed.

She shuddered, dropping her knees from the bed as she curled up as small as she could.

"Natasha?!" 

The phone slid from her fingers as the darkness took her.

...

Fury raced through the door, calling Natasha's name as he ran up the stairs.

He went straight to her room, shoving the door open.

"Fuck." He almost stumbled as he landed beside Natasha. 

"Hurry up with that fucking ambulance." He shouted at the phone before dropping it.

His fingers reached for her neck, the faint fast thrumming under his fingers more reassuring than he knew.

"Natasha?" He brushed hair off her face, gently shaking her shoulder. 

"Natasha, can you hear me?"

He got no response and he reached for her arm. 

He peeled back the sopping towel and winced, inhaling sharply.

He quickly pressed it back to the wound, gripping tightly with one hand.

"Sweetheart, wake up." He tapped her cheek with his free hand, grief and panic welling up inside his chest. 

He could hear sirens but it did nothing to stop the worry.

She wasn't responding, her pulse was weak and she was bleeding out on his floor.

"Natasha please-" he said gruffly, hearing the pounding of footsteps as the medics raced up the stairs.

"In here!" He shouted, voice wavering.

Natasha couldn't die.

She wouldn't.

Natasha wasn't the only one who had messed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that was okay. My mind is foggy atm so it's kinda short and maybe not very good but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Please leave a comment if you're so inclined. They brighten my day


	10. PLEASE READ

Hey guys. Not a new chapter but an update. Go ahead and read The Teens Intertwined to read the next part of this story. (I know it's kinda confusing but I didn't know which story to add these chapters into.) This part of the work will be for when the shield group and avengers group come together. There will still be separate chapters for both so make sure you keep an eye out on all three. I'm going to go back and label all chapters on all stories with numbers. These are gonna be the way you should read them in order. Hope that makes sense. Lots of love <3


	11. Panic attacks and worries (15)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Here comes a new chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Clint sat there for a good ten minutes, in silence, just watching Natasha.

He knew that she wouldn't be waking for a while, but he couldn't help but wish her eyes would open.

His heart had settled in his throat the moment he'd heard Natasha was at the hospital, and he knew he would not calm down until she was awake and speaking.

He brushed his thumb over the white of the bandage covering her left hand.

Nerve damage.

What the hell did that even mean? Would she be able to use her hand? Or would it just...be like that forever?

What if that made her mental state even worse? What if it wasn't an accident next time? What if she tried to kill herself? What if she succeeded?

Clint stood, pushing the chair back, his hand clutching his chest.

He knew logically that he was having a panic attack. But he'd never really had them much before and the thoughts flooded his system.

I'm dying.

He staggered back, numbly pulling the door open.

Waiting room.

Help there.

His steps shaky, Clint began to feel the weight on his chest and he tried to catch his breath.

Tears welled in his eyes and he wasn't sure how he'd even made it to the waiting room.

He couldn't even feel embarrassed at the fact all his friends and a good portion of the others in the waiting room were watching him freak out.

"Clint?" Fury had stood, Bruce close behind him.

Clint gasped, "I can't-" he choked out, knees shaking.

Fury caught him before he fell.

He half dragged the boy to a seat, gently pushing his head down to rest at his knees.

"Deep breaths, Clint, nice and slow." He murmured.

Bruce settled at Clint's feet, a reassuring hand on his knee, gently combing through his hair with the other.

"You're okay. You're okay, nothing is wrong with you, it's just a panic attack."

Clint shuddered, tears down his cheeks and he openly struggled for air.

"Easy." Fury said softly. "In through your nose, Clint, out through your mouth."

"Count to seven." Bruce squeezed his knee. "Here, we'll count with you."

"One, two, three, four, five-" Bruce and Fury spoke out loud and soon, their friends were joining in.

They were getting some weird looks from the other people in the waiting room but they didnt pay any attention.

"Nearly there, Clint. Let's try again, to seven-"

Almost five minutes later, the boy had finally gotten a hold of his breathing.

He swiped at his eyes, teeth gritted.

"You're okay." Bruce murmured. 

"I am." Clint shook his head. "I am. But she isn't." He closed his eyes and dropped his head into his hands.

"She will be." Fury said softly. 

"Will she? Because if this was an accident then imagine what the hell could happen if she intends to hurt herself this bad." Clint stood. 

"I'm gonna get some air."

Bruce exchanged a worried glance with his friends and Tony stood too.

"I'm dying for a cigarette anyway." The boy hummed.

Fury raised an eyebrow and Tony flushed a little but shrugged. "In the scheme of things, it's really not the worse thing I could do."

Tony followed Clint out and Fury sighed.

"Who wants to go see Natasha next?"

Bruce sighed and after a quick look at his remaining friends, he stood. "I'll go."

Fury nodded. "I'll come and wait outside the room. Call if you need me."

Bruce inhaled shakily and twisted his hands as they walked down the hallway. 

"What if Clint's right? What if she does try to do something and..."

"Don't worry about it." Fury murmured. "We'll get her help. She can get better, Bruce. The problems will never go away, not fully, but recovery is possible."

Bruce sighed, pushing the door. "I hope you're right."


	12. Home (17)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Enjoy this new chapter. Trigger warnings as usual but I feel like if you've made it this far in the story, you already know the warnings. Enjoy!
> 
> Article about her new diagnosis: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

Natasha had stayed in hospital for five days.

Two of those days she'd been held on suicide watch.

Once she'd come around from the operation, and was able to talk and remember what had happened, psych had been to see her.

They'd soon determined that though she may feel suicidal at times, this had been an accident and she hadn't meant to cause so much damage.

They arranged for crisis to come see her every day for the next week, whether she was at home or still in hospital.

Over the five days, the team and Natasha decided that she would be put on an anti-depressant and because her panic attacks were so frequent, anti-anxiety meds.

She would also go to one on one therapy once a week as well as a group therapy targeted to help a new diagnosis she'd been given; borderline personality disorder.

Once she got home, they would also be looking into any groups around the area specific to abuse and sexual abuse.

So five days had passed, Natasha had been off blood for the last four, off oxygen and IV nutrients for the last two, and now it was finally time for her to go home.

As well as the therapies, she would also need to come to the hospital once a week for physical therapy on her hand and arm.

It was wrapped up at the moment and tucked into a sling around her neck. She would have to wear it until the stitches could come out and the outside wound had fully healed.

Fury and Bruce helped her pack up her stuff and Bruce slung her bags over his shoulder as Nick helped her up.

She was still a little wobbly on her feet and would be for a while.

They signed out at the front desk, grabbing their prescription for the next couple of days; her two new meds as well as some painkillers and antibiotics to fight off any infection.

Then they were off home.

...

Fury helped the girl over to the sofa, pulling off her shoes and settling a blanket over her legs.

He'd taken the week off work and had taken Bruce out for the day, so they could help settle Natasha home.

Natasha hadn't spoken a whole lot since they'd met her at the hospital that morning and her expression was drawn.

"Thank you." She said quietly, tiredly rubbing her eyes.

Phil had stopped off before work, dropping off some groceries for them and Nick moved around the kitchen to make them lunch.

When sandwiches were made and juice poured, he carried the plates over to the table in front of the sofa.

Bruce and Nick sat, Bruce taking the space on the sofa beside Natasha and Nick taking the armchair.

They flicked through tv channels as they ate.

Fury had realised early on that though Natasha was injured and did need a certain degree of help, there were things she could do and wanted to do.

She didn't need to be fussed over that much.

As long as she was helped when cleaning and bandaging her arm and walking if she was dizzy, Natasha was fine to do almost anything else.

She'd not taken the injury to her hand lightly and it has been difficult for her to adjust to only having the use of one hand.

But she managed incredibly and ate with ease, simply putting her sandwich down when she wanted a drink.

They settled in for the afternoon, going through countless Brooklyn Nine Nine episodes and enjoying the silence compared to the noise of the hospital.

Crisis would be coming early evening to finalise her recovery plan but until then, they had time to relax.

Natasha managed a couple of episodes before she grew tired, rubbing her eyes as she tried to stay awake.

Bruce silently lifted her legs up into his lap and she shuffled so she was laying down.

In seconds, she was asleep.

Bruce rested his hand on her ankle, sighing softly. He was very happy that she was home, but also terrified that she was home.

He worried what would happen next, if all these meds and therapies would help.

If she'd self harm again.

He tipped his head back, fighting the tears welling as he spiralled just a little.

"Breathe, Bruce." Nick said quietly. "We can do this. We can all do this." 

"I know. I know, I'm just...I'm just scared." He shook his head, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

"I know. Of course you are." Fury said, voice kind. "I am too. And I know Natasha is. We're going to do this right, with the right therapy and the right meds, there a no reason she shouldn't be feeling better in the coming months."

"Better?" Bruce asked, shaking his head.

"Not completely better, I think it's unrealistic to think that will happen. But we can manage it, Bruce, get her feeling somewhat better. Functioning and dealing with it all. Yeah?"

Bruce nodded tiredly. He'd been up all night worrying and now wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep too.

"Rest, Bruce." Nick stood, handing him a blanket and the tv remote. 

"I'll be in my office if you need me, for anything, okay?"

The boy nodded, pulling the blanket up and yawning. "Okay."

Nick smiled and squeezed his shoulder.

"We can do this."


	13. Pain and Nightmares (18)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! It's been a long time and I can only apologise. It sucks when you lose ideas for a fic you love but that's what happened. I don't want this fic to be all drama and angst but I'm worried you guys might find it boring if it's not all go go go. Anyway, I'm back. I'm not sure if the next update will be soon, it depends if inspiration hits. If you guys have any ideas I'd love to hear them, and I hope you enjoy.

Natasha woke up in pain, wincing and wrapping her fingers just below her elbow, gripping tightly.

She took a few deep breaths through her nose, tears welling in her eyes as the wave of nausea associated with the pain hit.

The physical therapist said the pain was a good sign; it meant her arm was beginning to heal and it hinted that she might regain at least partial use of the arm.

Didn't make it suck any less.

It was still dark outside as the girl rolled over in bed and planted her feet against the floor, grunting softly as she shakily got up.

She wasn't allowed access to her meds, for obvious reasons, but Fury would leave a cup of water and two pills in the en-suite.

One was her painkiller and the other one of her emergency anxiety tablets. He'd told her to only take them if she needed to, and she'd been pretty good at only having them if she felt like it was necessary. 

Natasha turned the overhead light on once she reached the bathroom, trying to ignore her reflection in the mirror.

She felt god awful and she knew she'd look even worse and then she would spiral into self hate. Again.

She picked up the blue pain pill, sighing softly as she placed it on her tongue and chased it down with a swig of water.

Already awake now, and in too much pain to go back to sleep, Natasha moved back to her bedroom and flicked on the bedside lamp and the tv.

With the soft thrum of the television in the background, Natasha sank back against the pillows behind her, gently flexing her wrist and fingers.

It burned and tears filled the girls eyes again, but she was determined to do the exercises. She'd been told they would help, and she was stubbornly set against having to live with the damage her whole life.

She tried to focus on the tv screen, teeth gritted as she swallowed against the rise of bile in her throat.

The exercises lasted only a minute before Natasha couldn't take it anymore, exhaling and cradling her arm to her chest.

The whole thing had knocked the breath out of her and she quickly rubbed at her eyes, determined that she was not going to cry.

The girl sighed, a few stubborn tears leaking down her cheeks as she took her phone from the nightstand.

Shuffling further down the bed, the redhead occupied herself by playing games and reading before her eyes grew tired again.

It was almost five, so she still had some time to sleep, especially since Nick was being so lenient at the moment.

Closing her eyes, the pain in her arm dulled a little, Natasha fell into a fitful sleep.

...

She'd been asleep for only an hour before the quiet house was filled with shouts and whimpers, followed by a strangled scream as Natasha got caught in the covers.

The girl twisted and lashed out with her hands and feet, breaths catching as sobs built up.

In seconds, there were footsteps and her bedroom door was pushed open.

Bruce was close behind Nick as the man turned the light on and moved towards the bed where Natasha was still tossing and turning, cheeks wet as exclamations left her lips.

"Natasha-" Nick gently touched her shoulder, shaking her a little. "Sweetheart, wake up."

His fingers gently brushed over her forehead as her eyelids fluttered and she struggled up into a half sitting position, shuddering and breathing hard.

"You're okay, you were having a nightmare but you're here, you're safe." Nick gently sat on the edge of the bed as Bruce took the other side.

"I'm sorry." Natasha's voice was hoarse as she looked down, wincing once more. The nightmare and her subsequent hitting out had jarred her arm even more.

"Nothing to be sorry for, Tash." Bruce smiled softly, squeezing her knee reassuringly.

"I woke you guys up and it's early." She sniffled, hastily dragging her sleeve over her face and eyes to try and dry them.

"My alarm was going to go off any minute now anyways." Nick said softly. "And besides, it's not a problem, you didn't do it on purpose."

"Yeah, Nat, you know it happens to me all the time and I wake you up. It's really okay." Bruce handed her a box of tissues from the cupboard and Natasha wiped at her eyes.

"Still sorry." She mumbled, shrugging.

"And there's still nothing to be sorry for." Nick said gently, sighing as a beeping came from the hallway.

"I told you my alarm was going to go off. Will you be okay if I go turn it off?" Nick asked.

The redhead nodded and scooted over to the left side of the bed, lifting the duvet.

Bruce immediately slid in beside her, yawning as they both shuffled down the bed to lay down properly.

Bruce had at least forty minutes before he had to get up for school and Natasha wasn't going back for another week so Bruce took her uninjured hand and they both closed their eyes to go back to sleep for a little while.

They would talk about the nightmare when they woke up; when it wasn't still fresh and terrifying in Natasha's mind.

For now, they got comfortable, Bruce squeezing her fingers as they drifted.

...

Nick got up earlier than the kids since he had so much  
paperwork to do; it was like there was a never-ending pile to get through.

He got ready for the day quickly, stopping outside Natasha's room on his way to make breakfast for the three of them.

He smiled softly as he watched the pair sleep, turning off the light and closing the door.

If Bruce woke late and had to go to school late than that's what would happen.

He would get his work done, but for now, after everything, they deserved to get some good rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you liked?


	14. Breakfast and Ideas (19)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Another filler sort of chapter but I've finally come up with some more drama/angst ideas for this and The Shield fic too so stay tuned for that! Anyway I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.

Natasha and Bruce slept through the morning and by the time the pair woke, school had already started.

Reluctantly, the boy got up and rushed around the house to get ready for the day.

Fury would drop Bruce off and then come back home. It would be a pretty calm, easy day and then later that night, Clint would be joining them for dinner and a movie.

Natasha was struggling with over-stimulation and over-exertion and despite wanting to see her whole group of friends, she really wasn't up to it, so Clint stopping by was a good middle ground until she felt a little better.

After dropping Bruce at school, Nick called up to Natasha that it was time for breakfast.

Sighing, the girl clambered out from her covers and pulled a dressing gown over her pyjamas.

Showers were just a lot of hassle, with trying to keep the bandages dry and then washing with one hand and if she was being honest with herself, she could not be bothered anyways.

The anaemia that had followed the blood loss meant she was freezing pretty much all of the time, so once two pairs of fuzzy socks and slippers were put on, she was heading down the stairs.

Nick was just plating up the last of the food as Natasha took her usual seat.

"Morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling?" Fury placed a cup of juice beside her plate and bowl.

"Tired." She said quietly, lifting the fork and trying to use it cut up her pancakes.

"That's not surprising," Nick said quietly as he sat down too, "do you want to talk about the nightmare?"

The redhead paused with her fork on the way to the bowl of fruit before stabbing a strawberry and shaking her head. "Not really."

"That's okay, you don't have to talk about them if you don't want to." Nick tried to be subtle with his glances to her plate. Too much time talking with Phil about Skye had him constantly checking the kids when they ate. 

Natasha more pushed her food around than ate it, but Nick wasn't worried about it quite yet. She'd told him that her stomach was knotted up more often than it wasn't. And he knew that and nausea were side effects of both blood loss and the new medications. He'd give it another week or so, for everything to settle down, and then see how she was with food then.

After about a quarter of the pancakes were gone, Natasha put her cutlery down and toyed with the cup of juice.

"I was thinking, sometime in the next couple of days, we could take a trip to IKEA and you could pick out some stuff for your room. It seems like we haven't really had time to make it into something nice. What do you think?" Fury asked.

It was a simple enough offer, and it in no way should it have made Natasha worry and over think but that was exactly what happened.

Buying furniture, picking out items whilst nice on the surface, opened up a whole can of connotations.

It made it very clear that this was where she was living now and that there was no going back to her old house. The house where so much bad had happened, yes, but also the house where her momma had loved her, cared for her, and died in.

New furniture also meant money, money that Natasha didn't have and had never had. The concept of someone spending enough money on her to furnish a room was more than a little scary.

Not only all that, but Natasha wasn't really sure how to handle picking and choosing what she wanted. The most she'd ever been asked to decide was when her friends asked her opinion on takeout or snacks for sleepovers.

And then her even thinking about making her room nice made her spiral further. She didn't deserve it, didn't need it, it was purely for comfort since she had a bed and that was the only thing 'needed' (even though at her old home, she more often than not slept on the floor). Why anyone would want to spend money on her, to make her happy, made no sense.

"Natasha?" The way Fury's voice rose indicated that it wasn't the first time he'd called her name and without even realising it, she'd pushed herself from her seat.

"I..." she stammered, trying to control the racing of her heart as she slowly came back to the moment and out of her head. "I'm fine. I just..." 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, Natasha. I should have thought more about what I was saying." Nick said quietly, standing about a foot away, uncertain if she was going to bolt or sit back down.

"No, it wasn't..." Natasha exhaled and rubbed a trembling hand over her forehead. "It's just me, my stupid brain overthinking things when it shouldn't." She looked back at her plate of nearly untouched pancakes and slowly made her way back to her seat.

"Over thinking happens, sweetheart. Maybe if you tell me what you're worried about, we can try and rationalise your thoughts?" His face betrayed nothing as Natasha picked up her fork again but she thought he seemed pleased at her choice.

"I don't even know where to start with it." Natasha sighed, chewing a mouthful of pancake, expression thoughtful. "There's just...a lot of stuff going around in my head. Like...It makes it clear that I'm staying here, that...that /he's/ dead and I'm never going home. And then...It's like...I don't need anything new and expensive, I don't deserve it and I feel guilty because you're spending money on me and I'm not used to that."

Nick waited a moment to make sure she'd finished talking before nodding. "Okay, well first of all, you deserve a lot of things Natasha. A nice room, belongings that you enjoy are just the tip of that. I'm not sure if you're aware, but I get money from the state specifically for you. Some of it is going into a savings account for when you're eighteen, and the rest is for clothes and groceries and transport to therapies and such. I'm not taking a penny from that, okay? Whatever we don't spend in a week goes into that account. So really, I'm not paying for anything that you want or need. That money is yours." He paused to see if Natasha wanted to say anything. When she just blinked, looking a little dazed, he carried on.

"We don't have to spend a lot of money all in one go for your room. We can look round the thrift stores and second hand places and see if anything takes your fancy. You've got the basics but maybe you'd like a desk or a chair or to paint the walls. Maybe you'd like to get some clothes or a new school bag. Anything you want."

Natasha swallowed hard, fists clenched on top of the table. She was quiet for a long while as Nick just continued to eat his breakfast, very much not pressuring her and letting her take her time.

Eventually the girl spoke. "I...I'm not sure what I'd even want. I haven't thought about it, really, I thought the room was fine but...I guess I don't really like the colour?" 

Nick smiled softly. "You mean army green isnt your colour?" He chuckled.

Natasha actually laughed back. "I'm more of an all black kinda girl but that's probably not the best colour for a room."

"Maybe we'll stick to black for clothes." Nick hummed. "What colour were you thinking?"

Natasha thought for a moment before choosing. "Yellow." She said softly.

That was a little bit of a surprise but Nick only nodded. "Yellow it is."

"It's happy. Bright. It's like outside but inside, when I don't wanna actually go outside." She shrugged, a little embarrassed.

"I think yellow is a great choice. Why don't we go to the store sometime this week to pick out a shade?" Nick suggested.

"Yeah...yeah okay." Natasha said softly. "That sounds good."

She was still more than a little anxious about the whole idea but choosing something simple like paint seemed like a good place to start.

Maybe things would be okay.

Or maybe they'd go very very wrong.


End file.
